Life Is Complicated Now

I don't know how to start this story. What I feel right now is lonely. I feel like nobody wanna be my friends. Probably it's just because right now I'm working as General worker (Pembantu Awam) where the people who hold this positions mostly their critical thinking is just SPM level. I am the only one General worker that have a degree. Of course the way we're thinking are different. Therefore, I do not have friends and alone. I feel myself and my life journey so pathetic. Many people wanna betray me. They afraid because I have everything. They try to fight and hurt me silently. I'm the one who feel very painful. 

I try to be like them by minimize all my skills so that, I can be their friend. But, who knows, in the end, I'm the one who still hurts more. What I've been realize right now, I need to walk alone in this journey, face everything by myself, avoid them, just silent and put many smile from my cheeks. They are just like monster. I hate them pretty much. 

Some people would told me, be patient and pray more to THE ALMIGHTY, yeah. I did. But, you know, it's not easy as they wish. I really hate my own life journey. Why do I need to stand with these kind of life. I hate it. I lost myself. I need to find myself back. I should be what supposed to be. Ignore them. I should be myself.

I cry a lot, and try to accept and redha with all my fate and what Allah arrange for me.

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