If There Is A Next Life

Two fish trapped in an abyss,
Are crying as the heavy rain pours.

I, who am so close yet separated a world apart from you,
Can’t come in time to help you.


The fading mountains and rivers (of a painting)
Leave behind a cold gray colored ink.
The past is not like smoke.
Suddenly the rivers and mountains become bleak because of you.


If there is a next life,
I’ll wait for the conclusion.
When gratitude, resentment, love, and worries back away
Because of whom is the cliff lonely?
Your lies of duplicity,
Love, hate, anger, and stupidity… How do I deal with them?


If there is a next life,
I’ll wait for your persistence.
Who exactly does a moth live for?
It’s unafraid of life or death.
You are submerged in my eyes
Whirling away, a dream passing by like a cloud of smoke.


Two fish trapped in an abyss
Are crying as the heavy rain pours.
I, who am so close yet separated a world apart from you,
Can’t come in time to help you.


The fading mountains and rivers (of a painting)
Leave behind a cold gray colored ink.
The past is not like smoke.
Suddenly the rivers and mountains become bleak because of you.


If there is a next life,
I’ll wait for the conclusion.
When gratitude, resentment, love, and worries back away
Because of whom is the cliff lonely?
Your lies of duplicity,
Love, hate, anger, and stupidity… How do I deal with them?


If there is a next life,
I’ll wait for your persistence.
Who exactly does a moth live for?
It’s unafraid of life or death.
You are submerged in my eyes
Whirling away, a dream passing by like a cloud of smoke.


Lyrics: Qian Zi


********************************************************************************************************


When I read these translated lyrics, it's remind me to someone. Someone that I hate for the first time I saw him and in the end, he is a someone I fall in love, secretly. But, I'm not brave to confess because on that time there's too many gossip about him. I'm afraid. Afraid to ask the truth. haha.. I was tried to confess my feeling then (after a year I guess), but, I think I was confess in a wrong time. He told me that, he want to take care his heart by himself. Then, I respect his decision. Sometime, I speak sarcastically to myself in many things. I knew, it's too late already. I really wasting my time thinking (sometime), thinking something that I don't know; how I can fall in love with him. Frankly said, I realized until now I still hope I meet someone like him or exactly, him. Even though it seems very impossible. 


I come out this story because a few days ago, I went to KLIA 2 with a friend. We lived in same room in one hotel. We went there for a promotion job. Actually,, I dislike when people tell me about marriage. I trying hard to enjoy myself with friends and make a busy with work but then, when my friend, a girl, chit chat with me about love, engagement, marriage, then, the situation was brought me back to a loneliness in me. I knew she just need my opinion but, haha.. whatever la.. That conversation was remind me back to someone, yeah, it's him. I should moving on but, I don't know why I'm so stubborn. I'm not happy if he been replaced with another guy. I have a guy that always help me, almost in everything. But, my instinct said that, he just wanna help, not more than that and sometime I think, he just take for granted on me. Sometime. I only believe and trust a someone I love. I'm not in love with that guy, a guy that always help me. Not. I just feel thankful. But, not love. I only in love with that person.

—

Unfortunately, I should end this feeling. I hope, I can bury this love at the place where we were together for the first time. I will go that place again. To put "everything" there. One day... I will...

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